It is amazing just how many people out there are looking for this seemingly illusive thing. So what is it? It seems to be different to everyone ( so how can we define it?) or is it? I have read many books that seem to deal with the pursuit of it and give lots of suggestions so I will tell you some of them in this post – or at least the ones that seem to work. The dictionary definition is:
“the state of being happy”
WOW! Can you feel that? It’s like a giant weight being lifted to know that isn’t it? No? It didn’t do much for me either. But I was sure that I knew what happiness felt like so I would know when I found it. This is important. You must feel what is right and use that to guide you to what makes you happy. As I said earlier, people are looking for different things – some know what they are looking for and others don’t. We feel pressured our whole lives and are looking for something that will make us feel better, that will make us feel worthy or have a purpose or to complete us in some way. We want to feel light and free, like this.
I do and so do the thousands of people I read about online or speak to every day. For this next exercise, you may find it easier to record yourself saying it then listen to the recording as you do it. Try it,
close your eyes and imagine that you are these balloons being held by someone. You want to be free but cannot go anywhere, you also have to go wherever the person goes even if it is against the wind that you desperately want to follow. Does that feel like your life now? Now image the person letting go and you are now free, soaring upwards and floating wherever you want to go and following the wind of your desires, feeling the breeze and warmth of the sun as you go. Take some time to live in this feeling, imagine it with all your senses. Is there a smell on the breeze? Feel the wind and the sun on you. Look around, what can you see? What can you hear? Now open your eyes. How did that feel? Was that what happiness feels like? It is a great feeling.
How did that feel? Was that what happiness feels like? It is a great feeling. It is my aim to help people achieve this feeling often in their lives and maybe feel happy most of the time. There will always be times of drama and sadness and some just cannot be avoided. So what is the secret of getting to this state?
Secret 1. Define the word “happy”
This definition will change your life. There are many teachers out there that use this work rarely or even not at all. Some of these include Deepak Chopra, Ekhart Tolle and Bob Proctor. They do this because of people’s definition of the word. Many people strive for very complicated definitions of what “happy” means to them. They want to feel excited, ecstatic, jubilant, over the moon (or as a character in The Sixth Sense film describes it, spinning and singing on a mountaintop kind of happy). They link it to houses, partners, belongings, cars, holidays and more and they want their lives to be “perfect”. There is a big problem with this as perfect is nearly always impossible to acheive. So by doing this you are chasing the nearly impossible so believe you are never going to be “happy”. This is an extremely depressing way to live.
The best definition for me is the simplest. Happy for me is “not sad”. This is the definition we learn as children and it is only when we get older that our definition changes. Most children seem happier than adults don’t they? This now means that we must be happy a lot of the time. When we are not worried or anxious and just spending time not being sad or depressed or angry then we must be happy. We now have a definition that says we can be happy everytime we take a moment to ourselves, a very easy, and possible way, to be happy.
Secret 2. Spend time being happy
You now need to take some time for yourself. When I was told this when I was struggling I thought that this was impossible too. I couldn’t take any time to myself, there was too much to do. I didn’t have any time. I was caught up in my life and was not in a good place. I was told that I needed time to sort things out. I was also told that it was impossible to add time to a day and had to find better ways to use it. (This “time to myself” had to be the most important or my “illness” was going to get worse and eventually I wouldn’t be able to do all the things I “had to” do. I learned that most of my problems existed in my head. I couldn’t believe it. All I had to do for 5-10 minutes a day was “just be”, do nothing except be mindful of where I was. All of the anxiety about the past and all the worry about the future could wait for 5 – 10 minutes. So I tried it. I was lucky to last 30 seconds at first but I worked at it and I did start to see improvements. You need to try this and realise that all of the time that you manage it you are happy. Just by thinking it helps and, like the balloons feeling, you’ll want to do it more.