There are always people out there who don’t want us to succeed. Is this what you think of when you think of your worst enemy? Big scary person trying to hurt you, or do you think of those people who put you down and tell you that you’re not good enough? Do you let them win? Some people do and they end up doing whatever they can to have an “easy life” to “go with the flow” and try and get along with everyone. The only peoblem with this is that YOU STOP BEING HAPPY.
“You have enemies? Good! That means you have stood up for something, sometime in your life” – Winston Churchill
How’s this as a way to see enemies? It says that you only have enemies because you have stood up for yourself in some way. You have stood up for a belief or an idea or admitted the truth to someone that you like/dislike something.
So how do you defeat your enemies? You have to confront them at some point and stand up for your beliefs again. If you are trying to do something, the best way to beat your enemies is to succeed at your task and prove them wrong. The other way is to somehow persuade the enemy to accept your belief or come over to your side.
This quote introduces us to the enemy that stops a vast majority of people from succeeding in life, probably the greatest enemy of all. Not the people who don’t like your ideas and you only see on occasion but the one enemy that you can’t escape from, the one that is with you 24/7 365 days a year and is always telling you what they think of you and your ideas.
Who is your greatest enemy?
Your inner critic who cares what others think, the one that has doubts, the one that second guesses any good ideas. The one that tells you to give up when things go wrong. Your confidence in yourself. So how do you gain confidence?
I won’t be able to give you all the answers to how to get complete confidence in yourself in this smal blog but I can share with you some tools I have found that will help you get confidence in achieving a goal.
Think about something you want to do but for some reason you have not started to do it yet.
Set this as your goal
So now what?
Start by looking at this goal and make it mean something. I earned these first two tools from my time in retail and sales.
Make your goal SMARTER This means write it using the following terms ;specific, measureable,acheivable, realistic, time, evaluate, review.
- specific – don’t just say make money say how much
- measureable – how can you tell you have acheived your goal?
- acheiveable – how will you get to your goal?
- realistic – can you do it? Do you need to break it down into smaller steps?
- Time – when will you acheive this goal?
- Evaluate – look at what you have go so far, start working towards the goal. When are you going to check back and see how well you are doing? When you do check whether you need to reevaluate your goal.
- Review – when the time is up or the task is done, now what is your next step?
Now measure yourself in terms of this goal
- strengths – what strengths do you have that will help you achieve your goal
- weaknesses – what weaknesses are stopping you achieve your goal? Can you learn to improve these or use your strengths instead?
- opportunities – what things are out there that can help you acheive your goal? Training, mentors, friends, family, internet.
- threats – what is stopping you? What is getting in the way? enemies, your weaknesses, fear, YOU.
I got this from a book called Unlock Your Confidence by Dr Gary Wood
- goal – you’ve got this sorted now
- observation – keep looking at how you are doing. Have your opportunities changed, have you learned now skills that may help, how did you get to where you are now and how much more do you need to do?
- feelings – how do you feel about your goal? At the start I am sure that you were really excited about it and charged ahead, maybe you will hit snags along the way, you may need to realign your feelings. Imagine you are starting from this point, be excited again and go for it.
- Limitations – can you predict any snags or limitations you may face along the way? If so, how are you going to beat them or get around them when/if they occur?
- options – look at all the different ways you can acheive your goal, that way if one of them fails you can turn to another option and try again.
- will- this is your will to succeed no matter what. Do you care enough about your goal to see it through to the end? Is this something you are passionate about? If not you may want to choose something else because it is a lot easier to give up on something you could do without that something you need.
This is from the same book as above. This is how to keep focussed along the way.
- goal – rememeber and focus on your goal
- relax- if you are getting stressed about something relax, maybe even meditate on where to go next. Being stressed shuts down your ability to think your way through a problem all your body want to do is fight or run or freeze.
- image – to help with the above picture yourself as having acheived your goal. How do you feel? What are you doing, where are you, etc?
- persistance – you’ve got to keep going. I read in a book Think and Grow Rich by Napolean Hill that there was a man with a gold mine that gave up searching for gold 3 feet from the richest gold seam in a state of America. Keep going, seek expert advice to help, search for answers to problems. Don’t give up without a fight, best still don’t give up at all.
Use these tools in your day to day life to acheive your goals and your confidence should grow and you will defeat your worst enemy. Yourself.
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