You should say to yourself and say just this, “This is my life” and think about it. Are you living your life or just surviving day by day? Have you done something worthwhile today? Have you come any closer to your goals in life? I have given you rules for success in achieving your goals in life but what do you do between steps? How do you acheive great relationships with others (friends, colleagues and family)? How do you present yourself to the world?
Here are some guidelines that might help you to be the best you can every day, starting now.
Things happen. So what? Things will always happen. As I said in my Blood Moon post your reaction is the key. You need to accept things as they are, NOT as the should/could be. We worry about the future and get anxious and afraid of how people will react, or we get angry about what has happened in the past. We can’t change the past or the future, we can only change what is happening NOW. If you had an accident and broke something belonging to someone else, what whould your reaction be?
- worry about the future – what will the person say if they found out? they will be furious, devastated… they will stop liking me…they will call the police…and so on
- get angry about the past – blame yourself (i’m so stupid/clumsy), blame other people (it shouldn’t have been there in the first place, who put that there? and so on)
- accept that it has happened and do something about it.
If you chose option 1. what will you do about it? First you may think about hiding the evidence or getting away from the “scene of the crime”. You’ll make up all sorts of scenarios in your head about what is going to happen next. You feel bad and could even worry yourself sick.
If you chose option 2. You may lash out in your anger and damage even more things or shout at other people and damage your relationships with others.
If you chose option 3 you would probably own up for what you did and accept what happens next, offer to help or replace or just apologise.
My point is that we can only affect the present and the best way to react to things that happen is to accept that they happen and do something about them. Don’t imagine the worst. If it’s your fault accept it. It’s happened and you can’t change that so accept that too. Things aren’t bad or good they just are.
I don’t mean flexibility of your body here although that IS a good thing to have. I may even look at that in a later post. No this about flexibility in your thinking. As soon as you develop a fixed mindset that things are as they are and will never change the game is already over.
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything” – George Bernard Shaw
We meet people all the time who don’t like change and think “if it’s not broke don’t fix it”. If we all thought like that then we would still be living in caves and hunting with our bare hands, we may have even been killed off entirely. Things change so follow the first tip and accept that they change and move on. People get older, places change, dreams change. Wherever life takes you be ready to follow and dream big, follow your new direction and live the best life you can. You can start today, look at your life now; what can’t you change? Are there any of those things that can be changed but you either don’t want them to change or fear what would happen if they did? If there are things that you feel cannot change but can, how can you change them in a way you can cope with? I felt that I was stuck in my job, that if I left I would lose my house, and my family. But regardless of what I thought, I could change my situation but was scared to. I showed this as a success killer in my fear blog. I just had to find a way that I could do it without making my fears a reality. The first challenge was being flexible enough to accept that things able to change in the first place. All new inventions come from the minds of those who thought things could change and changed them for the better.
I read in a book once that “only dead fish swim with the stream”. The ones who get noticed are the ones who swim against the current. Just look at salmon, they get noticed for what they do, they face all the dangers along the way (river dangers, bears etc) and they relentlessly chase their goal until they reach it. Our lives are like that but we follow the stream all too easily. We go along with the crowd even if we don’t agree with where they are going or the things we find ourselves doing in order to fit in. We do it because it is easier to do this than say something. We talk about our “comfort zone”, this is our safe zone where we fit in but isn’t the dream life we always wanted for ourselves it’s just “the way it is” right? If you want to chase your dreams you need to do something out of the ordinary, you need to step out of your comfort zone.
If you knew you could have everything you ever wanted in life if you could climb to the top of a mountain would you do it? I’m sure you would do everything in your power to get there. You would find it hard at times but you would push yourself forward however seemingly impossible it seemed at times. So why don’t you choose to chase your dreams that way now? You can rarely see the top of a mountain from the bottom or even while on the journey itself but you know it is there. Your dreams are out there too, go for them!
This is not necessarily about money, although you can do good things with that too. It is amazing just how much information we learn as we go through life, especially if you are passionate about it, and it would be such a waste if we didn’t do anything with it. We are able to give information and guidance about anything we know and we are able to give our time to those who need it. The great thing about knowledge and time is that we can give them away for free and they will be extremely valuable for those who need, and receive, them.
Giving generously works in two ways. Firstly you will probably feel good having helped someone else and making them happy, it’s natural to feel happy when surrounded by happy people. Secondly the people who help you will e willing to help you in the future. If you need help they will come. In sales it is called reciprocity, have you ever been in a car showroom and they have offered you a seat and a drink? Have you been asked to wait in an area where there are sales brochures and free water? These tend to give the impression of how generous they are and how willing they are to give you the best experience possible. They also know that if you accept this “generosity” you will want to do something in return like buy something from them.
It is all too easy for us to want to improve our lives and you probably wouldn’t be reading this if you weren’t the same. The problem with striving to improve our lives is that we often only look forward to our goal/dream and then get frustrated that we haven’t reached it yet or you are not moving forward as well as you could be. Then when you reach your goals or acheive what you were aiming for you find out that there is something better and you change your aim and go for the better thing instead. You need to stop and look around. Look at where you are now compared to where you were when you started. Look at all the people in the world who haven’t got the things that you have, they would probably kill to get your life as it is right now and you’re not happy with it. If you start to recognise what you’ve got now and be thankful for it, you start to realise that you have actually got a lot in your life already and how you’d feel if you lost it. Sometimes you might just realise that you are chasing things that you don’t need because what you have is good enough. Sure it would be nice to have the latest mobile phone/TV but you have one already that works, what extra would the new thing give you that you would use in your everyday life. Often it is just something new that want to have but would harldly ever use so why have it?
These are just five things that you can change in your life right now that will make a difference. Acceptance, Flexibility, Challenge, Generosity and Gratitude. If you start these today you may even see immediate changes for the better. Start today and if you apply these to your life and use them everyday then you may acheive your dreams/goals quicker or even come to love the life you are living now and the person you are today.
Have a great day. Remember you can sign up for my free newsletter at the side of this post.